Friday, May 09, 2014

happy mothers day!

I was never the kind of gal that dreamed of being a mom, in fact when I was younger the thought of having children was the last thing I had ever planned for my life. I wanted to be an artist, I wanted to get married, I wanted to live by the sea but becoming a parent...no way! Whenever I was asked if we would have kids I always answered, "kids are not in our plan unless suddenly we are visited by an angel in the middle of the night who tells us it's time to start a family"...in other words... NO!

And then something changed...no I was not visited by an angel but at age thirty-five, after dealing with some really heavy stuff going on around us, Andy and I literally woke up one day and wanted a family. We were both on the same page (miraculously) and decided to give it a go- better late than never! A few months later I was pregnant, scared and suddenly questioning our decision. I had spent thirty-five years of my life never thinking about kids. Never considering what it means to raise a child, how much it costs, what life would look like, what it would mean for our marriage, my job, our future, my identity or what it would take to bring a little person into the mix. Somehow I pushed past all my fears and trusted there was a plan for us. A plan bigger than my inexperience, bigger than my insecurities and bigger than my fears.

And that plan was made clear the day Lucy was born. I'm not gonna lie and say that all my worries melted away when I held her for the first time, because they didn't. In fact my fear grew even more intense during those early days and I still struggle (deeply) with fear and worry. But something happened to me that is hard to put into words and is very likely something that only my fellow mamas out there understand. Pregnancy, birth and taking care of a child strangely felt right to me- which is crazy because I spent so many years not wanting motherhood. Suddenly, I felt like I was fulfilling my destiny and becoming the person I was meant to be. 

And while there has been tons of juggling, many challenges and lots of learning in the last two years, becoming a mother has been the single most wonderful experience of my life. It makes me smile to think back to my younger self who thought having kids wasn't right for her- boy was that gal wrong!  I am so happy that I changed my mind, closed my eyes and took a big leap into motherhood because I cannot imagine my life without Lucy in it- she is the best thing that has happened to me.

For all the mothers out there I want to wish you the happiest of weekends! Hug and kiss your kiddos and celebrate each of your own journeys!

dress:forever21 cardigan:old navy shoes:ugg tote:made by me from old curtains

27 comments:

Sue Marrazzo said...

Beautifully SAID!
Children are the best GIFT = )
Have a Happy MOM'S Day!

Yvonne Moxon said...

Beautiful pictures and words, you have fallen so naturally into motherhood and Im so amazed at how you managed to keep your art still vibrant and free whle caring for your little one she is beautiful xx

Michelle said...

Beautifully said, Alisa! I love how you've brought Lucy along in your artistic journey. Your Lucy stories make me smile, and remind me to relax when my kids want to get into my art and craft gear. ;-)

fraufertig said...

Just right!
Your work is really inspiring to me. I read your blog every day and found the courage again to paint and be creative with two kids!
Thanks and greeting from overseas.

fraufertig

HollyM said...

Well said. Happy Mother's Day to you! Life with children is so much 'more'. The fear and anxiety will always be there even as they become adults but then so are the joys and the love.

Mami Made It said...

Your thoughts were exactly mine. I got married with 33, became mother with age 37 and I can't imagine my life without my daughter. She is almost part in every single thought I have since she was born. I never ever would have thought that it would be that way. So great!
Happy Mother's Day!

Lucy Chen said...

Happy Mother's Day, Alisa!

Lauren Douglas Creative said...

This is me, so much.
I adamantly did not want kids then after being with the right person for a few years thought "wow, how about we bring a little us into the mix". And boom. And it's so right.

Miriam Schulman said...

this is such a beautiful post!
I felt the same way until I held my daughter in my arms and then wondered what took me so long!

Faygie Fellig said...

I have 7, a working mom, and could not imagine otherwise. Now that they are grown i forget the hard times. it is so worth it. i am happy for you that you chose this path. and you can see why.... happy mothers day.

dawn said...

I love these pictures and this story! These were my thoughts growing up too and now I have 4 wonderful kids. Just this morning while watching 3 of them get on the bus and seeing their interactions and laughs with each other, a big lump formed in my throat. I LOVE BEING A MOM!! I stay home with my kids and we make sacrifices for it but it's so worth it. I am thankful everyday for this chance to watch and care and love these 4 kids. I can't imagine life without them .
When you see them daily and doing all the life things you forget how awesome it is to have them. Then moments like this morning for me, BAM! It all comes flooding back to you and how wonderful it is.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ALISA!! You are doing so good at being a mom and creating a life with her and your art. She is so awesome and will continue to be so with you and Andy raising her. What a great role model you are for her and for us moms.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do here and for us. Celebrate this weekend too, relax and soak her up.

Now I'm off to sign up for one of your classes, thinking it will be the flowers one, YIPPEE!! Thanks again for the sale! HUGS AND LOVE!

curlygirlpress said...

Happy Mother's Day, Alisa! I always wanted children (and want another), but you're right, there was something that clicked into feeling just right through the pregnancy and when our son was born. Momma-hood is awesome. = )

studioGypsy said...

lovetoyous... cheers to fulfilling our destinies.. choked down my tears when reading.. beautifullness. xoxox

Jo Murray said...

A wonderful post...not just about being a mother, but about accepting and revelling in whatever life has in store for you. You are an exceptional mother...it was meant to be.

Elisabetta Brustio said...

Happy Mother's Day Alisa!
Dood Mothers are not born, nor do you become ... but one thing is certain: our children are our most precious treasure. They are smiles, worries, sorrows, fears, unexpected joys, goals ... they are real LIFE!
A lot of kisses to Little Lucy!!!

chicandbonita said...

Happy Mother's Day to you and all the wonderful mom's out there ...... :)

Jana said...

Such sweetness! Happy Mother's Day!! p.s. can you reveal where that wall is? The texture just slays me!! Is is somewhere in Seaside? Vicinity? Thank you :)!

Joanne Freeman said...

Such a beautiful story Alisa. Thanks for sharing with us. And thank you for inspiring me to infuse creativity into my family life. xx Jo

Carol Gary said...

Love it! We arrive at motherhood from different places but I always rejoice to hear another mom expressing the joys of raising little ones. Happy Mother's day to you!

Kate Burroughs said...

Beautiful essay and well said. Being a mother is a lifetime achievement. I am so happy to be a mama also even though my children are all grown up now. Happy Mother's Day to you!
Aloha, Kate

steviewren said...

I love this post! I never envisioned myself with children while growing up. But I wound up having four and raising them has been the best most meaningful part of my life.

Cynthia said...

Happy Mother's Day to you. Enjoy the journey and enjoy your day.

An_Geli_Ka said...

This is live....if i was young, i planed to get 3 or 4 children...- we get NO children ...be happy for this litte gift - she is sooo cute ;-)) ...and PLANS are for nothing ;-)

Steph said...

Absolutely perfect.

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Hastypearl said...

I love this post. My mother and I didn't get along, and I made a very unwise vow to not have kids because of it. I shared it with my husband, and he didn't push. 6 years after we married, I basically apologized to myself, my God, for making such a binding decision. You know, if you say something long enough it gets buried and you have a hard time making your way out from under it. Anyway, I broke that off of me and raised two sons. It's not always a sweet and fun job to be a mother. There are going to be some terrifying moments. Wait until she's a teenager, and being with you every second is the last thing on her mind. That's not broken, you didn't want to be with your mother either. It's healthy. You are doing a great job of sewing seeds now for a healthy girl/woman. Hang in there...and I appreciate your honesty...Laura

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