Tuesday, November 29, 2011

stronger than i ever knew

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I'm not gonna lie, the last month (actually the last 10 months) have been some of the most challenging times I have yet to experience in my safe (and most of the time happy) little life. Though filled with joy, excitement and fierce love, I have been forced again and again to live and operate so far out of my comfort zone that I am now beginning to get very comfortable being uncomfortable! Up until two years ago I didn't want kids- until then it just didn't feel like it fit into our life plan. Thankfully we had a massive change of heart and the decision to start a family was made. But through the entire experience (because I am a bit neurotic and selfish!) I was worried- not only worried about the physical unknown of being pregnant and then raising a child BUT REALLY worried about what this would mean for me as an artist and an entrepreneur. For years I had spent so much time working towards my goals of being an artist that amidst the joy of welcoming a little one- I was terrified of losing myself in the experience, of losing my desires to be an artist/entrepreneur and even losing my ability to be creative.

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Fast forward to the last month of our dear little Lucy's life....my fears and worries did come true and I did lose myself but not in the way I spent so much time worrying about. Instead I seem to have lost myself to to strange combo of love, selfLESSness, connection, learning and ultimately redefining this new chapter in our lives. While I've had my moments- especially early on- of asking how in the world am I going to do all of this-I just gave in to the newness (something that is not easy when you are neurotic!), the uncomfortable moments and intense emotions and have embraced this new chapter. I've made the decision to make it all work and its ok if things look and feel different.

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Though the last month has presented its challenges I've made the decision that no matter how busy, challenging or time consuming being a mom is, I can and I will hold onto my passion, my creativity and my identity as an artist. In the last month I have strapped little Lucy to my chest, right next to my heart and pushed past the fatigue, the fear, the newness of being a mom and continued to create, to fulfill obligations and redefine this new chapter. I know that continuing to make time for these things will make me a better parent, a balanced person, and an example to my daughter of what it means to pursue your dreams.

This last month has been challenging- making my way through the unchartered waters of parenthood but I have learned that my ability to learn, to adapt, to conquer, to create and to LOVE is stronger than I ever knew.

97 comments:

  1. Alisa,
    I have tears over your post. Being a mom is so hard, but so rewarding. You will not do anything more important in your life! Rest up, my friend :-)

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  2. :) I love this. I'm so glad you are able to still be yourself as well as such a great Mom. It's definitely tough at first but it's so rewarding. Congratulations again!!!!!!

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  3. So very well said! Being a mom is the toughest job you will ever LOVE!! Glad you are adjusting....I never thought I was a selfish person til I had kids. Amazing what that tiny bundle makes you realize about yourself :)

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  4. You are the greatest! :)

    I just want yo to know...that the more Lucy will grow, less time you'll have. My girl in one year ole...and she just started to walk..and she is EVERYWHERE :D

    But enjoy every moment...time files by soooo quickly... :)

    And keep puruing your dreams...I am too ;)

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  5. Sorry for mistakes *blush*

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  6. That's so true;we really don't know how much we are capable of doing till we become mothers.
    AriadnefromGreece!

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  7. Wonderful post. I'm a step-mum to toddlers and know just how much time being a parent takes from you. You are an inspiration to us all.

    Love that Lucy is strapped to your chest close to your heart.....beautiful xxx

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  8. I love the way you expressed yourself. But the fact that you are blessed to be able to stay at home puts you head and shoulders above problems like daycare, employer demands, transportation, trying to get time off to care for sick little ones - I could go on and on.

    As much as I would have wished to be able to be at home with my own kids, in retrospect I agree that the struggle of work and home made me a stronger woman than I would have ever been otherwise. We very much agree on that point!

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  9. It saddens me to see the number of ladies that become moms and then forget their own identity and passions. THANK YOU for being an example of the opposite!

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  10. Welcome to motherhood, it sounds like it definitely agrees with you! I remember putting my older kids to bed and falling asleep with them and then having my husband wake me up so that I could create and maybe squeeze in some me time. Whatever it takes! I told him once, at a time when I was not able to do much creating that when I am not indulging in my artistic side than I am not being the wife and mother that my family deserves. It is such a huge part of us 'creative types' that we NEED it to be whole.
    Congratulations on your little Lucy, and enjoy the journey! I know that after having 5 and 3 of them out of the house, that they are my greatest works of art!
    t.xoxoxooxo

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  11. Strong is good! Congrats on being a new mom and keeping your artistic passion...you're doubly rewarded!

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  12. Flavia2:46 PM

    Alisa, you rock and your daughter will too!! Lots of love to you and your lovely family.

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  13. I lost myself for 8 or 9 months after my daughter was born, and I had thought I was *ready* for all that change! It threw me for a real loop, but good news is that once I came out of that phase, I rediscovered a creative self that I hadn't known for years. Being a mom is hard work, and I won't lie to you: In some ways it gets easier, and in some ways it gets harder. But it is totally possible to find your way, to figure it out, and to one day realize, "Hey, I've hit my stride. I'm doing this." Good for you for figuring that out way earlier than I did! :)

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  14. Wow, I have a lot of respect for this, for you! Enjoy your life! cause it's beautiful! love from Holland, Anneke

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  15. YOU GO GIRL!...take it from one of those women...it works...just makes you more organized and determined! AND...when she gets bigger and grows up you will also discover that you STILL have it!

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  16. Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself. I know how hard it is to be a parent plus something else, anything else. Sleep deprivation alone can kill any drive you may have to do or be something other than mom. I am so happy for you and looking forward to seeing how motherhood enhances your artwork.

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  17. Being a parent is the greatest experience ever. You will NEVER regret it. Because you are so determined and focused on keeping up with your art... YOU WILL! Good for you!!!...... I'm really happy for you.

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  18. Right on! You can still be you and be a mom, too. Although, I found that the "mom" me was really the one I enjoyed being the most. Three children later, it's hard to balance everything, but totally worth it. I gave up my professional career and wouldn't have it any other way. They are my most important things!

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  19. I wish I had read this when I was a new mom so many years ago. You are always inspiring! Much Congrats!

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  20. What a beautiful post!!! Really You've got it!!! Everybody told me I wouldn't have time for myself and that I would never be able to think again or have time to do anything again… Obviously it is hard, babies are time consuming!!! But nobody warns you that you will be knocked out of the universe in love with them in a way that you just can not phathom!!!

    I have so found that if you persist when they are tiny then you really can keep the creative ball going and there will be a time when I can be truely creative again and just do my thing, that time when I don't gasp at every breathe they take - just every other!!! There is always time with little ones, when they are quietly busy if not napping… and I have learnt it is easier to work in those times than wait until they nap… somehow they "know" and never nap!!! I have so discovered that the older they get the easier it is… I have done your watercolor and sketchbook courses with tiny people flapping around in their water color sets beside me!!! It can be done and it is so important for our kids to see us for who we are right from the start… You go girl… you are doing great!!!

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  21. This is such a beautiful and honest post. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

    Your sweet daughter will be so proud to see these pictures and read these words some day. I know I would be if I had a mom like you.

    Congratulations on your beautiful journey.

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  22. This is inspirational; I love it. Blessings on you during your journey as a mum and as an artist!

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  23. you look so happy, competent and strong! life has a way of taking us down paths that aren't on our original map. i believe you will be as fabulous of a mom as you are an artist. :-)

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  24. Dear Alisa , I am new to the whole blogging thing and emailing. Up until 7 years ago however it was part of my daily work routine. That was until i had my first child Summer who is now 7. Two years later Nancy came into the world and then a year ago i had my son Auron. I had times of feeling lost ,more than i should of because being a mummy is the most creative and wonderful journy i have ever been on. The first time i logged on to my new blog yours was the very first one i came across and to say it inspired me is an understatement. I always wanted to take art at school but never had much encouragement because i was a bit 'outside the box' . Fast forward to now and i am persuing my dream and love of art and the most inspiring thing is my children with their big sunny smiles and endless love. Capture as many moments as you can they grow so quickly . But so will your inspiration and creativity.x

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  25. livethegoldenrule3:57 PM

    You are doing great! I love the pictures. When Lucy is ready just include her in your creating. As se7en said, she can be creating right next to you. Once someone complained to me that their child kept grabbing their work. I suggested they give them paper and crayons, etc to work with too. Lucy will be such an inspiration for you. I have really enjoyed watching you on this beautiful journey. Thank you so much.

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  26. Wonderful.

    It is a huge blessing for kids to grow up in a creative home, and where both parents are fulfilled.

    They, on the other hand, always keep us on our toes. Just as soon as you've "figured out" how to best get creative time, they change again. It gets easier when they will sleep on their own...then harder when they give up naps...then easier when they will happily draw next to you, and so on.

    You also learn to jettison the things that aren't important, to make room for all the things that are.

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  27. What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing! Congratulations on your new venture as an artist and a mommy!

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  28. Welcome to motherhood! ;-) Sending you bright beams of positive thoughts and energy. You CAN have it all.

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  29. You will be fine...and you are doing great! Yes, you can do this and still be who you are! Don't ever doubt that you can't!
    Love you...Take good care...Rest is most important!
    Best Wishes,
    Loretta

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  30. You are such an inspiration. I'm not married yet, don't have kids yet, but I'm on that path and I absolutely cannot wait, but I think all the time about what that may do to my creative time. It's so important to just make time even when you don't think you have it. I do that now with creating and work. Yes, I could stay at school and write lesson plans for years and have no time to make jewelry or sew, but I would be so sad. What you said about it making you a balanced person is so true. And I think all mothers are stronger than they ever knew. And your daughter will be lucky to have such a strong role model :) Thank you for this post.

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  31. for it is. love i mean. you know.

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  32. I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you:)

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  33. Thanks so much for posting this. I'm on week 34 and have started feeling the same way you have described in this post. Balance is the key and you're a great inspiration!

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  34. Oh Alisa! How you recognize your challenge and embrace it. As trite as it sounds all of us women who make the choice to me a mother have many months like your last one but we are strong and we will include what matters to us as individuals as well as being the best mother we can be.
    Keep lifting those emotional weights. We are all with you

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  35. What a wonderful post; it brings tears to my eyes... My daughter will be turning 11 (yes, eleven!) in February, and I so totally understand your thoughts on this!! You will always be busy now, busier than you could ever have imagined... and, you will make it all work somehow, too - even when you think that there is no possible way. The challenges are great, but the rewards are even greater - congratulations on this newest chapter in your lives!!

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  36. its so wonderful to read the honesty in your words. i have 3 kids who were born very close together, and I DID lose myself in it all for a while. but now that they boys are older i have LEARNED to make sure i take the time to feed my own soul. i am so happy to see you making such healthy decisions. YOU DO NEED YOUR ART!!!

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  37. I believe you will continue to grow and change as your family does. The true sign of love. Overall love. Your daughter is beautiful, your husband a gem, and you ~ true, amazing, and sincere ~an inspiration.

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  38. This is such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us!

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  39. Such a great post....It's a hard balancing act; but so rewarding.

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  40. You have worked hard to getting your business up and running and creating beautiful works. Having a baby is very time consuming, BUT you will continue on and achieve all of your goals.
    Your attitude is "right on the mark" and being a parent is rewarding, but you have worked so very hard on your career and you will make your career of being a talented artist and "super mom" work for you in your own way. I know because my babies are 40 and 36. lol
    Barb

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  41. Oh, reading this post reminds me of when my girls were little. At first they were close to my heart too, then they wanted to see what I was doing, then they wanted to do it too. That is the best part when you can teach them how to draw, paint, cook. So much fun!!! I wouldn't trade my motherhood for anything - and they're 25 and 29 now and great friends. Enjoy every minute cuz it sure goes by fast.

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  42. Be brave, but also realise that at times what you want to do will not happen ..now. It takes time to ajust, and dont go over the top or you may find yourself in a hole of your own making.
    Love little Lucy and dont begrudge the time you spend with her. Just remember that yes, things happen unexpectedly and she is more important than you are.
    I dont mean to sound negative, but as a mother of 4, grand mother of 11 and great grandmother of 1 I do remember what it was like and is like to have small ones.
    Just take things as they come and try not to worry, there will always be time for you, somewhere in the week (maynot be in the day!) The next few months will get a whole lot busier.

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  43. Alisa, I am impressed by your journey. I can only guess how it feels when having ben an artist of 100% your life changed a lot. And you have managed these 10 months having discovered the realizations that you write about! Your little girl is lucky to have such a loving mommy who is true to herself.
    Your very honest post resonates with the soon future of my life. I am expecting my first child to be born in 3 months. And I am very selfish person. I even love the moment when my very much loved husband is busy at work for longer evenings so I can have more time for myself. Now I am very curious for the time to come when baby is born and I will nearly ever be able to be alone for long periods of time, when everything I do will need to be adjusted to the life of little one.
    I will keep following your journey and learn what I can from you. Good luck and success to you! :-)

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  44. You go, girl! How wonderful that you are learning to "go with the flow." I know how hard change can be, so your decision to accept that is very inspiring.
    Keep up the great work.
    Hugs to Lucy!

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  45. You doing extremely well. Let you little baby girl inspire you!
    Love allesistgut

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  46. I love strong women as you, Alisa...I hope to be the same!

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  47. Couldn't agree more! My 1.5 year old takes up a lot of my time but there's still naptime and evenings to be creative! And you'll appreciate those moments of me-time even more then!

    Lucy is adorable!

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  48. I love this post! Don't you feel empowered when you are able to do it all? ;) I find I am more creative now than before and yes, I've definitely changed, but I feel it's for the better. Another thing...all of my children have had notebooks, markers, colored pencils, crayons, paint, etc. at their disposal from a very young age and each one is very artistic and creative. They always wanted me to doodle, draw and be creative with them so you will definitely be in your element once Ruby's old enough to draw plus you will be a wonderful influence on her. Sure things are messy at times but we always have fun. I also find I have a lot more time for my creativity when their creativity is encouraged. They can spend hours at times creating things while I do the same, many times with minimal interruption. Bonus!

    Isn't it funny how this little person comes into your life and after a very short time you can't imagine life without them?

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  49. All I have to say as a creative Mom of two grown sons is "You Go Girl!!!"

    I never stopped being creative after my boys were born...just the opposite..I got MORE creative.

    Those two little boys inspired me in so many wonderful ways. As they got older, they joined me in my creative endeavors and as a result they are both still creative and original. How many Mom's can say that their grown sons make vintage book page wreaths and tied quilts for their girlfriends gifts on Christmas?

    You have one lucky little girl. Lucy is going to grow up surrounded by beauty and intelligence. That is a combo made even more awesome when you add unconditional LOVE!

    Enjoy your new life my friend

    Janet xox
    http:/theemptynest-janet.blogspot.com/

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  50. Many women, including myself, leave all their own talents, dreams and ambitions behind to become a "mom", believing that it's impossible or selfish to be great at more than one thing. This is an encouraging message. Thanks!

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  51. You have amazed me at what you have done. Most moms would put their life on hold for a bit after a baby. It is after all only the 1st month!
    s you have written, you will be changed, but you will find as you've written it will be in a good way.
    as your child grows you will share with her.
    being a parent is very difficult, but also wonderful. Your creativity will be even better.
    give yourself permission to accept your tired and stressful times and take the time to recoup.
    I enjoyed this post as it reminded me of how human we all are.

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  52. Anonymous5:03 AM

    Being a Mom is tough but so rewarding!! It is important to remain who you are & pursue your dreams. It helps you be a happier, less stressed and more confident parent, in my opinion. What is the saying...."if Mom ain't happy-ain't nobody happy"! :)
    Enjoy-kids grow up too quickly!!
    Rene'

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  53. Amazing post! Thanks for it.

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  54. Hi Alisa,
    It's really nice to read you! We love when we see you in your studio! We love hearing the parts of your life as an artist and wife (and mother!). I think all these changes will be reflected in your art and it will be even brighter and more complete. We would like to visit your studio! Thank you for sharing all you do with us, we are privileged.

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  55. Donna L5:27 AM

    You are so right, being a Mom sometimes feels like you give up your own identity, but it is only temporary and so worth it. You are doing great! Thanks for being real and not being afraid to admit it to us.

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  56. Alisa, you are so very creative, in your artisitic life and your personal life, & that is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your life with us all. You show how we can get over the hurdle that can block our way, with a little ingenouity. Great post!

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  57. I cannot resist to show you one of my previous post on my blog: http://blogladybird.blogspot.com/2011/04/mes-journees.html I also had to adapt my planning and it worked quite well. I learned that be confident in life (not sure of my English on this one) is the secret! ;)

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  58. Blessings to you, dear Alisa. I so enjoy your posts, and this one most heart-warming. I'm a Nanna now, didn't know how I'd ever get thru all the mothering years, but with joy and tears I did. And creativity (and spirituality) got me thru it all......with Grace when I needed it, and Strength when I thought i couldn't move forward. Your ART has expanded, motherhood is ART. Life is ART. Blessings to you.......paint on! xo

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  59. Alisa,
    first let me congratulate you for becoming a mother. Lucy is adorable.
    now let me tell you (even if you didn't ask for an advice) as a mother of a 3 years old cute daughter, that this first months are also very "unique". not only you, and your husband area adjusting to a different lifestyle, also Lucy is at a place she never knew. soon you'll look at Lucy and she's a kid, not a baby anymore. soon she will be used to see you paint and work and that will be part of your life, but also hers.

    I also struggled to balance what I used to do and what I had to learn from scratch, as I became a mother. what I can tell you is that the first months are really a time of finding that strength you mention, after that it all starts to work as a whole. it all seems easy and like it was always that way.

    never loose yourself in the process, that's my only advice. Lucy will be happier if you are true to yourself and always reaching for your goals. your dreams.

    you have now discovered your inner strength and believe me, this is just starting. unconditional love makes us strong in many ways and, from my experience, this is the most powerful source of inspiration.

    from my experience let me jsut tell you, I can't put into words how happy and complete I feel, when I'm painting and my daughter is right next to me, getting her hands dirty in paint:)))

    all the best for all of you. I'm sure you'll handle all this newness in you life the best way you can: being creative!

    greetings from Portugal
    Marta

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  60. So true,mothers can follow there dreams.Your a inspiration to me.

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  61. lucy is a very lucky girl....enjoy every single second! take care! ciao!

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  62. Anonymous8:09 AM

    You have learned so much faster than I did! I had my children before 30, and as much as I have always adored them, I did completely loose myself for a long, long time. It is only in the last couple of years, (they are 9 and 11) that I have started to find a healthy balance, and have picked up the paintbrush and charcoal again. It is so important to your own happiness and sense of self to remember who you are and to stay authentic to that. I am so proud of you, and others like you, who are able to do that.

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  63. Congrats on been a new mum, I don't doubt you will be a great mum from what I just read:)

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  64. Alisa.....you were so honest! I had to swallow hard a couple of times. Alisa, I have to tell you.....you don't even know what you are in for. A child adds so much....your not going to believe you thought about not having kids. We have a daughter(only child). I use to pride myself on taking the time to take in my surroundings...really look through an artists eye.....then my daughter came along. She made me see things in a new way or that I totally missed. Innocence
    is the best. And just wait until that little chubby hand helps in your studio. I'm so excited for you. The adventure is priceless. Embrace it! It goes so quick!! My daughter is 10. It seemed like yesterday that chubby hand was creating with me. Thinking of you......Julie

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  65. This is such an inspiring post. I truly believe that you can be a mom and still accomplish what you want in life. It's awesome to see you making that come true for yourself!

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  66. I can't even tell you how much I appreciate your honesty. I'm not a mom (yet) but I am a non-stop, creative workaholic and I love it. We're preparing to expand our family soon and it scares the hell out of me. Over the past year or so, you have inspired me, not only creatively but moreso with this. So thank you, truly.

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  67. Congratulations on being a mother! It is the hardest, easiest, toughist job that you will love doing most of the time. Do make sure and get the rest that you need. My baby did not sleep through the night until he was 14 months old so I got pretty sleep deprived trying to take care of it all. Make sure to give yourself time to rest! You'll be no good to yourself or others if you don't take good care of yourself.
    Aloha, Kate

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  68. Welcome to motherhood! Hahaha. I felt the same way. I did not want any kids at all, but woooop there it is! You do lose much of your focus on self especially if you are the sole parent. I guess if you make an effort not to, it is surely possible to have it all!

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  69. you are awesome and amazing-and yes just blink and Lucy will be gone-but enjoy her now-the real part of life is the moments you share now-I still marvel at how I was able to have a business with a baby-you just get up and take the next step-and make sure youve got the binky!It IS the hardest thing Ive ever done-but you are doing great!
    Love ya!

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  70. Great post! I got teary :)

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  71. Beautifully said, by a beautiful woman!

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  72. Anonymous5:22 PM

    Alisa,
    Welcome to Momhood! Remember to enjoy all the moments as they happen, because, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it all goes by so fast. The first five years of being a Mom seemed so long and in some ways hard. Along the way my Mom had an accident and needed daily help. In some ways I did lose myself and in some ways it was the best and most productive time of my life. Then one day I was planning my older son's high school graduation party and I realized that I blinked and ten years slipped by. Enjoy it all and do the best you can because these are the memories you have when the kids fledge the nest. Diane in SD

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  73. You're not selfish. A big part of the big burden and inner conflict that you carry comes from your judgement that you are being selfish for wanting to pursue your artistic force (I don't want to say energy, because I believe 'force' is what it is).
    Women have habitually felt 'guilty' for not letting go of their creative side in favor of their husbands and/or babies. This guilt is poison, it may eventually make you hate your family (God forbid) for "making you" leave your creative energy behind "for them." Of course, all of that is just inside our heads as women. No one asked us to leave anything, we are the ones who mis-judged ourselves as being selfish in the first place... and it then snowballed from their.
    My honest advice is: get rid of the guilt factor, and stop accusing yourself of being "selfish." If you stop producing art you will go crazy - and I know exactly what I'm talking about here.
    You need to start from a fresh state of mind, a state of mind that embraces the fact that as an artist you "need" to continue exercising your creativity, because you need a channel for this "force" inside of you to seep through.
    Once you have reached absolute reconciliation with your artistic half and stopped feeling selfish, you can now look to change your "time management" skills in order to take care of every valuable part of your life, your Lucy, and your art.
    Clean your heart from self-judgement... and you shall feel free from within again - Amen :) Sorry if I'm sounding a bit preachy...

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  74. I'm embarrassed....I realized I called her Ruby in my comment...that's my new niece's name and I mixed them up.

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  75. Ugh! Thank you for posting this! I have been following your blog for years but I think this may be my first comment. I am 34 years old and I my biggest fear is loosing myself if I have children. I am so terrified of what will happen to my drive and creativity and business once I have someone else to be responsible for. I have worked so hard to get to where I am and I am just not willing to give it up. This is a HUGE battle that I have been fighting in my mind for a while. I keep hoping that something will magically shift and I will suddenly want children. My husband wants them and doesn't see them as getting in the way of our dreams. People keep telling me that I can have both...the joy that comes from my work AND the joy that comes from having children. I just haven't believed them until I saw your post. Maybe it really is possible?

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  76. Thanks for sharing such an interesting information

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  77. i found this post to be very interesting! appreciate your efforts and thank you for sharing)

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  78. I love this blog.
    Hold her close and create...she is a gift from God, His creation, and will help you create in an even deeper way.

    Your work is so incredible and inspiring.
    Thank you for sharing with us.

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  79. You captured every emotion i went through as a musician/artist/new mom. Now I have 2 boys. The oldest is 3. At times it seems like you have no time to do anything but be a mom,something I never thought I would be. They take more and more time the older they get. But I've pressed in harder and harder and have learned that my kids have actually made me become a better artist. I've found a part of me that I didn't know existed. I think the same will happen for you. Press on and remember that you didn't lose who you were, you've added to who you are in the most wonderful way and you can share that in your work.

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  80. yay for you!! i don't know you - at all. but i can see from the pieces of your life that you share that you can be amazing. you have such a strong foundation in your creative life and you recognize this point in your life the importance to continue with it. i can also tell that you that you love that baby to pieces. you are sure to find a balance with everything & succeed. i'm just starting to figure it out 4 kids later. and i also have to say that your sketchbook delight class has helped me immensely with this very thing. you go!

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  81. I totally understand what you mean!! I did loose myself after baby but have found myself again thanks to blogs and wonderful ladies like yourself.
    You will grow in ways you never imagined. My son has also opened up my creativeness. I love trying to invision things through his eyes!!! And when sweet Lucy grows up she will admire you even more for continuing to persue your dreams!!

    SN: Yay for Ergos!! Gifts from the baby wearing gods!!

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  82. WOW. this is so completely inspiring. I've been reading your blog for a long time, but this post made me comment.

    I 1000% get your fears. I have the same ones if I ever have a kid--well similar. I'm so afraid that I will lose myself, but also am TERRIFIED that i will feel burdened because i know how difficult it is to raise kids; financially, mentally, physically. I love kids too much to risk having them and then feeling any ounce of regret. Its so so so selfish, but I keep working on this fear. Thank you for being so brave and honest. Have you read Kelly Rae's blog? She is going through a very similar plight as you.

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  83. fantastic! and what more inspiration you will gain in having her around... my artsy life started after i had our first little one... i was stuck at home and had to do something...and i discovered the artist inside me that had been germinating all along... and all the inspiration from my now 4 little ones is the fuel for my passion of art-making. big love and hugs to yous. xoxo

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  84. Thank you for sharing this. It's very inspiring to read this as a mum of three with a head full of creative ideas.

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  85. It may already have been said, but becoming a mom can make you creative in ways you never thought possible. Good luck and enjoy as much as you can!

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  86. You just described motherhood. It will push you past the pre-conceived (pardon the pun) limitations you thought you had and into new and uncharted territory. The surprise of motherhood, at least to me, what how much I discovered: about love, about tenacity, vulnerability, and mostly myself. You will have challenges around time-management, but you will NOT lose yourself, nor will you lose your passion. Ever.

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  87. Being a mum is just as you say about learning. Like with everything else in life. We have to give ourselves time. Creativity is a part of you, and Lucy will not replace it - but inspire it! :)

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  88. Loved reading this Alisa. Rewind to our conversation about a year and a half ago . . . talking about parenthood and how it does that . . . helps you grow. I'm so grateful to hear this! Makes me smile! Can't wait to meet Lucy!

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  89. Very inspiring and encouraging. I think all women face that struggle of "loosing" who we are when we welcome little blessings into our family! thank you for sharing. You give all of us women hope and drive to keep creating and loving who we are, what we do, and who surrounds us! Good luck!

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  90. Yay! Thank you for this!

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  91. hello thanks for this very good website.

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  92. Thank you, I soooooo needed to read some of these blog pages that I've come across about being an artist and a Mum. I can sooooo relate to them I have the studio, I have the dream, I have the passion and you have shown me that you can push past the fatigue and DO it!!! I know that this is my time and you have helped me believe.

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