Sunday, October 16, 2011

the quiet


My head is a noisy place- it is always overflowing with lots of creativity, energy and endless ideas but many times it is also full of fear, anxiety and obsessive planning- bottom line- my brain never seems to stop moving. The last 9 months have made that noise even louder with worry about pregnancy, fear of the unknown and constant concern for the future. But a funny thing happened... despite laboring at home for 24 hours to 6cm before going to the hospital, pushing for 5 1/2 hours straight and then having a scary delivery (though I was able to avoid a c-section) everything went quiet on October 12th the moment I saw my daughter. And despite having to stay a few days in the hospital, feeling out of sorts and uncomfortable, managing terrible pain, having to learn all kinds of new things fast and getting to know a little baby, my head has managed to stay quiet. Something in the last 5 days has happened and all that fear, anxiety and noise has disappeared and been replaced with peace. I have no idea if this feeling will last and to be honest I really don't care I am just happy to be right here in this moment.

While I won't be taking an "official" maternity leave I will be taking a little more time away from the computer for a while with the hope of preserving this quiet time. But I have spent months preparing lots of posts to share with you in the weeks ahead and while I am around and still managing things on the creative business side- please understand that things may take me a little longer over here :)


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