Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Peace- What a Strange Feeling!

So I have some MAJOR time to kill at the Portland Airport- one of the down sides of traveling back and forth to the Oregon Coast is the distance from the airport (I am pretty spoiled in San Diego living about ten minutes from the airport) so getting to the airport and catching a flight can be a trip in itself! 

In my past live (like two weeks ago) this would be the time that I would start to have an internal battle- sitting at the airport after having an amazing experience teaching and spending time with family.  Sitting at the airport feeling the dread sweep over me- having to switch gears and go back to work (no offense to all of my former co-workers- I love you all!) but it takes a toll stepping from art world to office world.  When I am working as an artist I am messy (of course), free, my time is organized by the way that I work best, I am busy and stressed but loving that it is on my terms- I am pretty much the complete opposite of a 9-5 kinda gal.  When I travel I've always have a hard time coming back to real life- not because I don't like my life but because I have felt for so long like I just don't fit into the world I have been living in and for the first time I am sitting at the airport and won't be returning home to an office job!! I didn't cry when I said my goodbyes, I didn't call my husband telling him how much I want to change my life, I am in really good spirits and for the first time I feel peace and as if I just might fit into the life I will be living- what a strange feeling!!!  


debinsf said...

You made the change! I didn't know you before the change, but it's easy to see how happy and at ease with yourself you are. That's a rare and precious thing. I'm happy for you!

anna maria said...

It must be a wonderful feeling.
I have been in San Francisco for 30 years! and I have never felt emotionally attached to this undeniably beautiful city. In fact, more and more lately I have felt like a stranger in a strange land, like I should be somewhere else, although I'm not sure where.


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