Monday, December 10, 2007

Secret Life

My head has been spinning this week with so much going on- I feel like I am jumping back and forth between so many different worlds, trying to balance the job life vs. the art life, keeping up with all my different emotions, pulling together with my hubby to start planning our future and our housing options for when we buy a place soon! When I think too much about it all it makes my head hurts and I freak out so all I can do is just keep my eyes focused on what is in front of me and moving forward and not get distracted by drama or things that do not fill me with goodness- But boy oh boy can this be a challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to top it off the house is a mess right now…piles of canvas creations everywhere, ribbon and beads stuck in our shag living room rug, drawings all over my computer desk, stacks of fabric all over my art room…this time of year is always insane and honestly I am eager for it to be over with!

But of course amidst the chaos of life right now, there are a few things that bring me back to the center like my loyal friend Anna, who was kind of enough to help me at my little craft fair yesterday! Though Anna and I are very different she is one of those people in my life that truly gets me, she brings me a sense of stability, calm and just fun. I met her the day I moved to San Diego and we started out as work friends and now almost 7 years later I think of her as family! Right now I yearn to have people around me that support and understand who I am- life has gotten crazy this last year and with all the wonderful creative opportunities I have found it hard to relate to people, hard to go to work some days- I feel like I am living a secret life full of creative, amazing things. It is hard for me sometimes to not shout from the roof tops...I JUST WROTE A BOOK...I AM PURSUING MY DREAMS...I AM ACTUALLY MAKING IT AS AN ARTIST.... YAHOOOOOO!!!!...instead I keep my head down, stay quiet and keep working hard on everything all the while cherishing the people who appreciate my secret life all the while holding in my heart that hope for one day not having to be so quiet about success!


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